Erroneous Beliefs

The most effective way to lose weight, is ‘move more and eat less’. However, most people that ever got into the habit of ‘moving less and eating more’, will tell you how hard it is to change these bad habits.  It’s that false belief, that actually makes it harder to change.  A self fulfilling prophecy if you like.  Our belief system defeats us before we even start the process of change, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Let me explain. Imagine the human brain to be a massive filing cabinet. When we are born, apart from out instinctive knowledge, it is full of empty files, but then gradually as we go through life these files are filled with information about the world we live in, and these files, in turn become our ‘belief system’. Much of what we learn comes from our own experiences, i.e. if I do ‘this’….. ‘that’ happens. However one of the reasons why man is so successful is his ability to learn not just from his own experiences, but also from others. So for example, the chances are that, stored away in one of the countless files in your brain, is a file labelled….’DON’T EAT DEADLY NIGHTSHADE’…it will kill you (clue’s in the name! However, did you experience it yourself to learn this? Well as you’re still here, evidently not.  Important information is passed on down the line.  Much of what we fill our belief system with is what we have learned from others. The Rest is made up!  yes That’s right, made up.  We do this in an attempt to make sense of things that our immature brain cannot rationalise at the time we experience an event in early childhood.

The problem is however, whilst we are programmed to take onboard information from others to survive, we take on board a lot of erroneous stuff too. That information is also filed away in our minds, and helps make up our belief system.

Let me give you an example of how our subconscious minds can take on board information as ‘truth’ and yet….are ‘not’ fact:-

Glance at the following passage and tell me how many letter ‘F’s u see in the text:

FINISHED FILES ARE FREQUENTLY
THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
-IC RESEARCH

Four right! Let’s face it, it’s not hard is it. If you said four you are telling the truth. If you had a million pounds how much of it would you wager that there are four F’s in that passage? – probably all of it.  However, there are actually 6 F’s! The subconscious will usually not register the 2x F’s on the words ‘OF’, because to the subconscious, it is actually pronounced as ‘OV’ and therefore discounts them

So once the belief system takes something on board it finds it very hard to let go of that belief.

Some prime examples of this are speaking to others who have tried to lose weight. How many people do you know that actually say losing weight is ‘EASY’? Yeah, thought so…..very few. Most say it is really hard to do.  Many will tell you, that even when they succeed in losing weight, they found it even harder to keep that weight off, RIGHT?

Similarly to the above example with the 4 ‘F’s’, they are telling you the truth….’their truth’, which hopefully now you realise truth does not always equal fact.  They truly ‘did’ find it difficult. Why? Almost certainly, because others told them the same thing, ‘IT WILL BE DIFFICULT’. So as we also learn by others experiences, another ‘belief file’ is filled with, ‘losing weight WILL BE DIFFICULT’.

Once a thought becomes a part of your own subconscious belief system, it will actually ‘become’ difficult for that person to lose weight until that belief is pulled out by the grass roots and replaced with a positive belief that actually losing weight is going to be really EASY.  If you manage to do that ‘losing weight really WILL be easy’.

This is where Hypnotherapy comes into a class of its own.

Our conscious mind is pretty puny only being able to handle approximately 8 different thoughts at anyone time, so even though consciously you might appreciate the reality, i.e. I can lose weight easily, your subconscious mind (which is a power house and could run the whole of the BT telephone network at any moment in time) effortlessly prevails with it’s negative belief that it will be difficult to lose weight.  This is why so many people lose a few pounds as they make a supreme conscious effort to lose weight, only to put all the weight back on as the subconscious beliefs kick in that it’s all too difficult.

In hypnosis, we are able to bypass something known  as the ‘conscious critical faculty’.  The conscious critical faculty is a bit like the gateway to your subconscious mind.  By entering a certain state of mind achieved with hypnosis we are able to bypass the critical faculty, locate the erroneous belief and replace it with a new, positive belief that will help you achieve your goal.  This could be for example that, losing weight is difficult, or perhaps to stopping smoking is hard.  Once rewired, many clients find it incredibly easy to achieve such goals.

When the subconscious mind is engaged, any changes that come with the new belief system are permanent

Another good example is in sport.  For anyone who plays sport competitively, they will instantly recognise what it is to hit a purple patch where they feel supremely confident and before they even hit the ball they just know it’s going to be a great shot.  Suddenly however, your mood changes along with the belief that you will play well and sure enough suddenly you are playing like a wombat! (No disrespect to wombats intended).  This is another reason why many top professional sports men and women around the world regularly use hypnosis to visualise themselves playing a great shot or running the perfect race, because once these positive thoughts become part of your belief system performance can be positively transformed.

Perhaps today will be the day you decide to start transforming your negative beliefs into positive ones and successfully achieve goals you never believed possible. It truly is all about mind over matter, so just ask yourself; Do you mind? and does it matter?

Call Dee on 07903 456237 or go HERE for further help in shifting the power from those erroneous beliefs!

Re-energise your Relationship.

Getting Your Relationship Back On Track

Lost that loving feeling?  Struggling to get it back, but feels like you’ve got a mountain to climb?  Is it worth it?  What should I do?  Sounds familiar?

It’s a sad fact that two out of three long term relationships come to an end and many of the remainder continue in unhappy relationships.   Relationships can begin to falter, often after many happy years together and often for no apparent reason, they just lose that ‘loving feeling’, BUT there ‘is’ always a reason and perhaps you are simply too close to the woods to see the tree’s?

This article is assuming you are struggling to make a relationship work with someone you feel ‘is’ right for you and that you want to be with, because most of us will have encountered people who we hook up with, but that deep down we know are not right for us.  Those relationships follow a different set of rules.

We’ve all heard the saying, ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ and sadly that’s often the case.  When people become too comfortable there is a danger that one or both partners start taking each other for granted.  For example, they may not take the same amount of time and effort to look good for their partner anymore.  You may believe that ‘they know me warts and all now, they accept me for who I am, so is it really necessary to have to try so hard anymore’?  IT MOST CERTAINLY IS!  It’s even more important, because as the initial excitement of a new relationship inevitably starts to wane, it’s your choice whether or not you want it to grow into something even deeper, where the couple continue to grow together throughout their lives.

Remember, it’s true of most things that we tend to ‘get out what we put in’ and relationships are no exception.  By taking a few simple steps there’s a good chance you ‘can’ get that ‘loving feeling’ back as long as that’s what you both want.

Before you do anything else you have to be completely honest with yourself.  You love this person, but is the pain worth the gain?  If the answers to this question is a resounding ‘YES’, despite the water under the bridge, feelings of hopelessness, frustrations, etc, then as long as you accept it’s going to take some work and some changes, there’s a good chance you can achieve what you want.  Taking on board some of the pointers below will help get you well on your way to achieving your goals.

Communication: If you’re not doing so already, learn to start talking to each other.  Communication is the most important key to your relationship.  Sounds simple, but if your relationship is already struggling, chances are, so are the communications between you.  So where is it going wrong?

Listen and Hear: Are you doing all the talking, but not enough listening?  We have two ears and one mouth and sometimes we need to be prepared to use them in those proportions!  Do you recall conversations where you interrupt someone because you disagree with them and don’t let them finish?  Have other people done that to you? and if so, how did it make you feel?

When we are passionate about something, it can be difficult not to interrupt, especially if we are defending ourselves, but resist the temptation.  Don’t just listen, make a point of really hearing what they are telling you, and then before you answer, just put yourself in their shoes so you can see both points of view clearly before responding.  Be honest in your responses, and if you realise that they might have a point then acknowledge that.  Chances are if you get the ball rolling in this respect, your partner will follow your lead – you get out what you put in.

If you’ve listened, but do not agree with what’s been said, it’s a good habit to acknowledge how they feel too, but that you disagree, ‘because’, etc.  Always ’respond’ calmly and with sincerity, no matter how difficult it is, resist the temptation just to let rip.  If you’ve listened and you know, deep down, you have been wrong, then be big enough to say so.  Some find it impossible to say the simple words, ‘I’m sorry’.  It’s not showing weakness, it’s showing you respect your partners opinion, and you will gain a lot of respect from your partner in return.  It’s rarely all one persons fault, in which case if you budge a little, so might they and before you know it you’ve started a new positive cycle.

Sarcasm: One of the biggest don’ts – DON’T ever use sarcasm when dealing with serious issues, at least not if you are serious about improving your relationship.

Be positive: Focus on the things you do like about one another. Sometimes, even when things are going well, we still spend our time thinking about what could make life better instead of focusing on what is already good. Focusing on the things you like about one another will help you to regain those feelings you had when you were first dating.

Work / life balance:  It’s easy to get caught up in a lifestyle that becomes all work and no play.  Sometimes we even tag it with, ‘I’m doing this for you and the family’! Yes, we need to work hard and earn a living to survive and yes, to enable us to do some of the nicer things in life that cost money, like holidays etc, which areimportant.   The trick is getting the balance right.  By all means work hard, but remember to play hard too.  Put time aside just to spend together and learn to have fun again.

Plan the fun stuff: Spontaneity is great, but sometimes it’s good to plan the fun times too, it gives you both something to look forward too.  So get some dates in the diary and don’t let other things get in the way of them.

It’s the small things that mean far more to most people.  Whether or not it’s helping to tidy the house and do the dishes or putting a little note in the packed lunch or perhaps a back rub at the end of a long day – these are the things that if done regularly make someone feel cherished and make them want to go the extra mile for you too.

Making the other person feel attractive and desirable is key to improving one of the most important parts of your relationship – your sex life.  If either of you feel undesirable, it is likely to lead to a reduction in physical intimacy.

Sex: is one of the most important base instincts hard wired into all of us.  Without it, none of us would even be here, and you would not be reading this now.  Sex is not the be all and end all, but it is the glue that cements an already good relationship, further helping to bring you closer together.  Even if, for whatever reason, you are unable to have full penetrative sexual intercourse you can still enjoy many forms of sexual contact which will strengthen your bond and bring you closer together.

Many people have some kind of psychosexual dysfunction at some point in their lives ranging from Erectile Dysfunction to unhealthy beliefs about sex being ‘dirty’ sometimes taught to us by our parents.  Sex can either be a wonderful relationship enhancing activity, or it can be a source of immense frustration and resentment.  Many Sexual disorders are psychological.  If you believe you may suffer from sexual dysfunction, you should always see your GP initially, to rule out any underlying physical conditions, but if there are none, then it’s likely you are suffering from ‘psychological sexual dysfunction’, which is incredibly common and can happen for a myriad of reasons.  (If this sounds like you, why suffer in silence? This is something that we at Reachout Therapy work with.  Feel free to contact us for a completely free, no obligation initial telephone consultation to find out more.

‘Laughter is the best medicine’.  How true is that!  Surveys, especially when asking women what they find most important in a partner, show that it wasn’t the six pack, chiselled face or pert bottom, it was the Good sense of humour that did it for most of them.

From a physical view, laughter actually produces endorphins in your brain, which are nature’s happy pill if you like.  They make you feel happy, so learning to have a good laugh again, whether it’s walking along the beach, watching a funny movie or enjoying a meal out is another key ingredient to getting your relationship back on track.

Love doesn’t just disappear, but is something that can die if it is not given the proper nutrients to survive.  Making time for one another, laughing, talking and showing affection will do more for your relationship than any professional counselling ever could. However,  if you struggle to do it on your own and need a helping hand to rediscover the love that the two of you share, then feel free to contact us where we will be happy to offer a free telephone consultation, and arrange an appointment either on your own or as a couple, to help get you back on track.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Resisting Change?

The clocks have now been turned back one hour and the longer winter nights lie ahead of us for the next few months.  Some of us look forward to the change from long summer days to the cosy evenings at home associated with winter.  Others find it more difficult to cope with the short days, colder weather and the effect it has on our mood.  The fact is that resistance is futile.  All we can do is adapt to the seasons as they come along. It is much more difficult to make changes within ourselves when we recognise that change is necessary.

We have all reached times in our lives when we feel that something within us has to change, where we just know that our lives will not improve until we begin to go against everything that we have become accustomed to.  Yet even though we claim we are interested in doing this our behaviours are often in conflict with what we are thinking.  Its as if every ounce of our being is kicking against what we know is ultimately for our highest good.  We don’t want to do the work that is involved.  We don’t want to let go of the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that we think have been supporting us.

When you come up against this wall of resistance what is there to do?  What do you need to do to help you push past it and fully embrace the new?  What structures do you need to dismantle in order for you to see the clear path ahead and the life you want?

There are a couple of questions that are very good starting points if you are currently at the stage of thinking, ‘Something has to change here’.

1. ‘What do i actually get from maintaining this behaviour?’   Asking this question will give you a ‘pay-off’ or a set of  ‘pay-offs’. Finding these will help you to get past them and help you find other, more beneficial, ways of getting what you believe you get from the current behaviour.

2. ‘Why do i keep doing the behaviour when i know its not serving my highest good?’  The answer to this question is usually because it feels safer to hang onto a way of being than to take the risk of losing your sense of security.  It also  gives you a ‘get out clause’ of having to make the changes and you can abdicate responsibility if you do keep the behaviour.  This means you can blame other things, rather than yourself for the state of your life.

Once you get rid of these reasons for resistance then you will find change becomes easier than you could ever imagine.  Just as easy as getting used to that extra hour in bed when the clocks go back each season. Now, how good does that sound?

For more help with making positive changes in your life why not CALL DEE. on 07903 456237 or go HERE. For more information on using your inner strengths to create the change you deserve.

 

Affirmations – Do they work for you?

Hi there,
I have always been a little disillusioned by the use of affirmations in themselves. As a hypnotherapist and psychotherapist i have found that affirmations prove to be quite poor in changing peoples mindset without the underlying work of looking at a persons belief system and helping them to dismantle or reduce the power that these core beliefs have on us. Once the beliefs have been identified understood and accepted then we can begin to shift the power away from them and the underlying strategies that the client has employed to maintain these beliefs. Knowing where our erroneous beliefs come from is a huge help and an essential starting point. Then and only then can affirmations prove useful.

Before i understood about my own core beliefs I spent many an hour reading affirmations and repeating them daily.  I found they didn’t work for me and then i found out why.  I didn’t believe!!  My belief about my capabilities, my capacity to change, trust belief, good enough belief and many others all contributed to the effectiveness (or lack) of  effectiveness of affirmations.  Once i began to dissect and dismantle the strategies i had used over the years to maintain the beliefs i had built up about myself and my abilities i began to see a change in how i operated and then the affirmations began to make sense, become more real and more a part of who i really was.  I had surrounded myself in a cloak of identity that wasn’t the ‘real me’… it wasn’t the person that i was born to be. I was born with all the confidence i needed, all the self esteem, self worth and mental and emotional strength i ever needed.  I had to find that person once again in order to achieve my full potential. It is a journey of discovery and one i was glad to take, no matter what hurdles i encountered along the way.  You can find the ‘you’ that is hidden beneath your belief system too.  What do you think?

To find out more click Here: or CALL DEE: 07903 456237 for an appointment and discover the real you!!

Is It Serious?

When people first experience recurrent symptoms of IBS they begin to worry that something more serious is going on.  This can then make the symptoms worse as the stress and anxiety attached, create the cycle of pain and discomfort.

The symptoms of IBS have a lot of features that show the problem to be one of function rather than one caused by a serious disease.  Easy to spot once you know what you are looking for. Do you have the following symptoms?  If you do its more likely to be IBS.

1. Symptoms usually come and go over hours or days.  Bloating or swelling gets worse as the day goes on but disappears overnight.  When we have serious disease the symptoms are persistent.

2. IBS symptoms are quite variable.  pain is often felt in different places, stools vary in appearance from day to day.  In serious disease symptoms tend to be less variable.

3. Pains that come with IBS come from the intestines.  They may ease off when you open your bowels. Also someone with IBS will have a change in bowel habit when the pains are occuring; stools become softer or more frequent. Clearly, other more serious conditions can cause intestinal pain and a change of habit but they tend to come along with other obvious signs such as vomiting bleeding and loss of weight.

4. IBS also causes other symptoms; a wanting to ‘go’ but can’t, feelings of fullness or not emptying properly even though you may have just gone to the toilet.  This can cause you to keep straining which makes matters worse.

5. There is also the appearance of slime (mucus) on the stool. this is nothing to worry about it is simply the reaction of an irritated rectum.

CALL Dee on 07903 456237 for help with IBS Symptoms and see what Hypnotherapy can do for YOU! You can also go HERE for more information of how Reachout Therapy can do for you

 

Emotions and your Bowels

Have you ever wondered when you are feeling why you feel that stress as physical sensations in your body?  Its true that we get ‘tension headaches’, stiff  neck and shoulders, bad backs and feeling generally under the weather and tired.

Your colon is probably more sensitive to your psychological and emotional state than any other part of your body.  Have you noticed that when you are worried it tends to speed up the movement of matter through your colon and results in you needing to hurry to the toilet. Your stools can also be quite loose during times of worry too?

There are a wide variety of emotions linked to stress, such as, fear, anger and resentment and these can all have a widely differing effect on the bowel.  Some people it results in less frequent bowel movement and constipation, in others more frequent bowel movements. Many people notice that following a bout of prolonged stress emotions they developed IBS.  This triggers further anxiety about their insides and then further disturbances of the bowel begin, as the vicious cycle begins to develop.  It worsens also due to the taboo we have about talking about our bowels.  It is very easy, once you are shown, how to get yourself out of that cycle and to recognise your triggers.  We can help you become more calm and relaxed and give you techniques to keep you balanced emotionally and reduce the IBS Symptoms that you have been experiencing. Hypnotherapy is now considered THE BEST treatment for IBS so why not take control NOW and contact us TODAY. Call Dee: 07903 456237 to make an appointment and get more information HERE: about IBS and what you can do to help yourself.  Have a great day!

Seeing the Truth?

What is the Truth? Do you know? Well when considering these questions it comes to me that the truth is actually only what we individually perceive it to be.  How many times have you believed you saw something and then realised that you made a mistake? Yet up to that point, you convinced yourself it was real, you convinced yourself that you were right! It was true!

When you experience an event like this you have simply experienced a scotoma or ‘blind spot’.  Every single one of us has them, but the problem is we don’t even know we have them.  These blind spots come from how we have been conditioned to ‘see’ ourselves, others and the world.  Consequently, once we are conditioned we develop a set of beliefs, and these are built by the way we think.  We build up beliefs about many things.  Beliefs about the type of person we are, what we are capable of, whether we are loveable, deserving, how the world works, the need to be perfect, where we fit in, the type of job or career that fits us, how others are, to name a few.  All of your beliefs have come from ‘received wisdom’ from others who have their own scotomas/blind spots too.  When we are young we listen to people that we believe ‘knows’ stuff, as if they have the magical formula for life, for being happy, for doing the right thing.

We believe that they are wise and knowledgeable and that we need their magic touch, like a wizard who touches us with his magic wand and makes everything right.  Yet, we have not realised the blind spots of the negative wizard/s that we may have been listening to much of our lives.  If you are wanting to break free of negative thinking and beliefs that hold you back you need to notice who are the negative wizards in your life.  These people take away our hope, our courage and our heart.  They maybe friends, family, neighbours who tell you the ‘truth as they know it’ about you.  Begin to understand that you have enormous potential to offer the world, and you will get closer to achieving your potential  when you unlock yourself from your own conditioning and beliefs.  How do you do that? Go Here: and release yourself from your negative patterns and learn to create magically and effortlessly.  Have a great day folks!!

Stop Smoking – The Hypnosis way!

Natalie Solomons, presenter of the Southend and Essex morning show on 105.1 FM was trying to stop smoking, cut down on the amount of mayonaise she ate and wanted to improve her diet.

Rob rang her to offer his services, which Natalie decided to take him up on.  She visited Rob’s consultancy and following a 2 and a half hour session was amazed with the results.  She invited Rob to do an interview with Dom and herself to discuss how she was getting on a week later.

Natalie, 31, said she had smoked from the age of 14 and had been smoking 30 cigarettes a year until about a year ago.  She advised she had tried all sorts of methods to quit, including nicotine patches, but not only had it not worked for her, but up until her hypnotherapy session she’d been smoking 40 a day! Go Here: to see how we can help you stop smoking for good!! OR CALL DEE: 07903 456237 or ROB 07747 870443

Natalie, who openly admitted she didn’t think she could stop or reduce the amount she smoked, was absolutely amazed that she was now only smoking 5 cigarettes a day and wasn’t even enjoying the few that she still smoked.  She was confident that with the FREE aftercare pack Reachout Therapy had supplied her with and the FREE personalised cd, she would stop smoking altogether, which she could not previously have imagined, especially after trying everything else to no avail.

Dom asked Natalie if Rob had been able to make any positive changes to the other habits she had wanted to change too.  Natalie said she was so pleased with herself, because following therapy, she had not touched ‘any’ mayonnaise and no longer had a desire too, but that was only just the beginning.  She said she now had a craving for healthy foods and rather than making cooking a chore, she was now really enjoying spending more time cooking, even with her busy schedule and has started enjoying healthy meals, she said it had made a huge difference to her life.  She also said the experience with Rob had been a real inspiration for her to make positive changes in her life.

Dee, also runs the quit smoking seminars with Rob and enjoys similar success rates with her quit smoking clients in Newcastle using the same Quit Smoking Programme.

Emotions and Cancer Risk

You may have seen the Cancer awareness advert on T.V. highlighting the odds of various things happening in our lives compared to getting cancer the risks are small.

Ive done some of my own research based on some of the most common client PHOBIAS we are presented with at Reachout Therapy:
1) Fear of Flying – Chances of being in a plane accident = 1 in 25 million
2) Fear of Snakes – Chances of getting bitten = 1 in 3 million
3) Fear of spiders – Chances of getting bitten = 1 in 4 million

Phew! Hopefully a few of us will sleep a little easier as those are pretty attractive odds. Maybe instead, we should be a little more concerned about how we can reduce the odds of getting Britains two biggest killers: Heart Disease and Cancer
1st the bad news:
1) Heart disease – Chances of dying from Heart disease = 1 in 4
2) Cancer – Chances of contracting = 1 in 3 and 1 in 4.7 of dying from it.

HOWEVER the good news is you can GREATLY reduce these odds by taking a few important steps now……- PLEASE READ ON….it could save your life:

Some of the main causes for both Heart disease and Cancer:
1) Smoking
2) Weight gain
3) Stress and anxiety
Others include excessive alcohol intake, excessive sun exposure etc.

At Reachout Therapy, we have outstanding success rates at assisiting people to Quit Smoking http://www.reachouttherapy.co.uk/pg/conditions/smoking-cessation
Lose Weight http://www.reachouttherapy.co.uk/pg/conditions/weight-management
Reduce Stress http://www.reachouttherapy.co.uk/pg/therapies/stress-management
Act now and change your future for the better :-))

Pain Management Group

Is Chronic Pain a constant in your day?  Would you like to take control of your life and your body? Our Pain Management group starts 28th of November in the Therapy Rooms at ‘Food for Thought,  Astley Road, Seaton Delaval.  Please contact me if you wish to book your place 10 places max! Come along and learn some new and different ways that you can regain your life free from Chronic pain using time honoured strategies and NO Drugs!

Go Here to find out more: Pain Group

See you there!!